Stasis.
I pray for a twist of fate
I see the same faces
of the people I know
I forget what I've learned
I walk the same roads.

My prayers are usually answered. Lots of news, lots of new twists of fate to grapple with. A couple new faces, and definitely a fresh perspective on some familiar ones.

Lately, I've been trying to reconnect with people I've lost touch with, either by divine design or my own stupid force. Some of them have replied, allowing their good graces back into my world, and some have withheld. I have to respect that, of course. Mistakes don't vanish because you want them to, and sometimes no matter what you do, you can't resolve your remorse or your regrets. Sometimes you have to carry them with you. Not everyone forgives, and even fewer forget.

I'll learn to live with it.

grace and peace, follow in my wake
the great Mystery that turns cities into lakes
with human hands and fistfuls of sand
brings castles back to life
and when the sun, when the sun breaks through
we'll see the heart of sky.

The band has disintegrated. We all hope you enjoyed it while it lasted. J and I will keep making music together, because it's our most functional and satisfying method of communication. Also, we will probably continue to operate under the name of Stranger if we decide to record. The fully-electric incarnation with four members and live performances has passed, however. Both Julie and Julian took my musical experience to a new level, and our shows were the best they've ever been because of them. Our parting is bittersweet. The focus in our lives has shifted away from the band, and the decision was prompted by school, work, and Jeremy's impending move back home to California. The separation was an amicable one. I love and respect everyone that was involved.

I love the life I've led
but the storm makes me remember
every moment I regret.
So when the time comes
to give what I have left
take the words most sweet and tender
they're the only ones I meant
they're the only ones I meant.

Last night, I received my brown belt in Shaolin Long Fist kung fu. The brown belt isn't part of the normal ranking system that our school uses (white, yellow, green, blue, red, and finally black.) It denotes instructors that haven't yet gotten their black belt, to conceal their rank from the students (I am a red belt, currently training for black). My sifu awarded the belt to me last night at our annual dinner, officially making me an instructor at the school. I was helping instruct before, but now I am teaching private lessons, and I can watch my students grow, change, and progress through the ranks. I have three children that I'm teaching now, between eight and ten years old. Kung fu has taught me responsibility, duty, and morality, and it's given me confidence and a sense of true accomplishment. I am now entrusted to pass that on to my students.

I feel like I can really make a difference in their lives. I know what it's done for me.

Though the thieves in the streets betray our human nature
and justice, blindfolded, sleeps so deeply nothing wakes her,
Though the highways are dying veins, clotted with the lost
and the devout wonder why God punished the wicked with the just,
Don't misunderstand me.
Don't misunderstand me at all.

I've been hunting the Sixth Devil for a while now. I've written a lot, and I am very excited about the direction it's heading. It's a shame it has taken so long, but the first three devils were stalking me, waiting for me, and their stories were written when they decided to strike. The other four up and ran, and I've had to stalk them instead. It took me a long time to find the last two, and even longer to find this one. But we're fighting now.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

oh, come into my arms
we'll watch the flood rise
we'll both be safe from harm
and all will be all right

I would like to close by saying that I love my sweet Josette very dearly, and I am very fortunate to have her in my life. She spurs me forward when I'm trying to hold myself back. She helps me get out of my own way. I wouldn't be where I am today without her.

And I'm very happy with where that is.

I love the life I've led
but the storm makes me remember
every moment I regret.
So when the time comes
to give what I have left
take the words most sweet and tender
they're the only ones I meant
they're the only ones I meant.