EXECUTIONER

once, I wrote a song for you and called it 'one eye blue.' and then I built a house for you and gave us separate rooms. and now I put words in your mouth Just to knock them out. THE FIRES, THE FIRES THEY GREW. they started with sparks until soon they'd devoured every minute and hour between then and now oh how could we have put them out? like flowers, like flowers, they bloomed like booming fireworks of desire and heart-hurt hurtling through the stratosphere from there to here and though it hurt me to torture a beautiful thing like taking a butterfly, breaking its wings throwing it violently into the sky and laughing as it tried to fly, It's my thing, I think. It's my kink. Cause I'm a killer, baby.  And though I've tried to kill that part of me That fights off the other wolves for the first taste of meat And then waits to eat, so they know they're defeated It's what makes me, me. It's what made me blame you for the misery I made for me. I saw my Shadow in a lucid dream. He flickered a pale white as if some great light flared up behind me and I felt a great terror as we orbited slowly around one another. And when I woke up, I asked you to hold me. You, my one and only, my lover May have been my mother in another life, the way you love me unconditionally Despite the crimes I commit in my fits of sadistic rage. We're both prisoners gripping the bars of our cage Trying to free the other. And our knuckles are white from the tightness. And our faces are red from the fighting. But if I'm innocent of anything, it's that I killed a man for nothing. I only wanted one thing. ... In the distance, wedding bells are ringing. In the future, loving hands trade rings and birdseed flinging friends hear the greatest promise I will ever make. And I raise a glass for the very last toast before my very last drink. "Here's to the hearts of the married And the hearts we had to break."