somewhere on the spectrum between a ghost and god
is the frequency of fevers
life-cycling, ortho-tricycline
the bomb!!! that blew a hole in my heart

I was a mistake.

smeared with passion's ashes
the blind insistence of existence
made of snakes
   snails
     puppy dog tails
and the weight of consequences
I, decision
falling in your lap
don't wait too long to make it

hope fully
nine months will be
long enough to learn to fake it
    -I-
decision, cradled in
your lap, my prison

life is more than minutes
in the time it takes to read this
someone makes the world a   (better    place)

I'm not so brave

but three days should be
just long enough
    for me
to learn to fake it