It’s been a long time
since I wrestled with my art
but if anything inspires me, it’s you.

It took such a long time
wrestling with my heart
through trials of conscience, only semi-conscious
of how completely in love with you
I was.
I am.

I’m scared sometimes, every now and then
that I’ll get hurt
or all the words in the world won’t do this justice
But it’s just us, it just feels right, right?
I fall asleep every night next to you
and wake up through that blurry portal
of half-dream, half-prayer, all-more-than-anything I’ve ever felt
and I can’t tell you what the hell
is going on inside me, because it’s never happened before.

I feel like I could soar.
float right up off the floor, with my hand in yours
with your laughter lifting me up
propelling me through whatever stands in my way
fuck my insecurities, I never liked them anyway
and you’re much better to me
than they could ever be.

You make me believe.
You make me release my fists, unclench my teeth
tremble, stumble, stutter, weep, I’m struck dumb and speechless
when I’m faced with you
and what you do to me.

I love you.
I can’t even pretend to see a me without you.
I’m so totally, completely fascinated by you
that before I knew it I was pouring my soul out
on Valentine’s Day, onstage, downtown at a club to a crowd of people
that probably can’t even remember my band’s name.

It’s Stranger, by the way.

And you’re my sweet Josette, the girl that’s meant more to me than anything
that carried me through the self-indulgent, self-destructive staring contest
I had with the mirror
for a while there, you were the only one that seemed to hear my silence.

So here’s my voice and words, dedicated to you.
In remembrance of the postcards, IMs, and ‘I love you’s that kept me going
that kept me sane through the craziest days this boy has ever been blinded by.
I can’t tell you what you mean to me, but I promise I won’t stop trying.
because I love you, simply, truly, purely.
I love you, more than mere words could describe.
I love you, baby.